Though we have never met, after reading your posts I feel that I can refer to you that way. Your writing takes me into a part of your life that is so clear and present that I feel that I know you much better than most of the people I am with every day. Perhaps it is that you are only 4 years my senior and we lived through some of the same social times and experiences. But then, perhaps it is that you so bravely share your life with others.
I have had a problem going to funerals and wakes since I came home from Vietnam. I met and got very close to others so quickly then. Their being gone from my life so suddenly and definitively was shocking at first and one of my coping mechanisms was to deny their deaths. Up until that time, no one I had known had died. Not going to funerals for me is a form of denial. The VA psychiatrists say that not going is just fine, as long as it works for me. But they are still working with me on strategies to use when it doesn’t work.
Perhaps Bob Dylan said it best: “I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.”
Thanks for your personal and heartfelt comment, David. Writing is a rare and beautiful thing - you never know who will read what you’ve written or how what you’ve written will resonate with, or touch, another soul.
Hi Eric, for some reason that I haven't yet figured out, your regret at not attending the memorial of your dear Susan gave me goosebumps. It was very moving how you spoke of her, her life and all that you shared. The pain of grieving a lost love can be so intense. For the longest time after my brother died, when he came into my thoughts it was like stiletto stabbing my heart. Now when I think of a couple of recently departed close friends it's not so sharp, more of a swampy feel but still intense. I so relate to your story of finding your identity. I too was uptight, emotionally suppressed & repressed until I threw myself into studying acting with Sandy Meisner, Bill Esper et al @ the Neighborhood Playhouse in NYC in the mid 60's. HALLELUJAH!!! I'm just remembering also the terrific dance teachers with which we were blessed - Matt Mattox for Jazz, Pearl Lang for Modern and the beautiful, inspirational Jane Dudley for Martha Graham. Thanks Eric for the sharing of your thoughts and feelings in your post. Although we've never met on the physical plane I'm sending you some fond hugs. Thank you again.
Hi, Bambi. U must feel the closeness between Susan and me, and the sadness of Max, the Clown. We have the same “becoming an artist” history tooooo. Thanks, as always, for your support! E (Glad u figured out how to leave a Commemt!😇)
Beautifully written tribute and reflection. At our age (although I was born when you were a perfect-haired teenager), we could spend every day attending funerals. It’s really hard to prioritize them. They often don’t do justice to the life. The value sometimes has to do with who else is there, more than the deceased, which you don’t know unless you’re there. I believe the deceased is on to bigger and better things. Anyway, the key of the past regret is how it helps your present and shapes your future.
Hi Eric, I commented on Claire Polders photo essay on Japan and saw you’d liked that, so was curious when I saw your bio. I love dance - as a spectator. I loved to dance in my youth but never professionally. I will read your earlier essays. Good to meet you here!
So many memories of Susan! Such a beautiful vulnerable person. I have stories about T.H. as well that perhaps should remain unsaid in a public place as they aren’t so nice.
What a wonderful tribute to these dancer (your friends) to remember them here. Very vivid insights.
Thanks, Wendy. I wonder what drew you to reading these posts?
Dear Eric,
Though we have never met, after reading your posts I feel that I can refer to you that way. Your writing takes me into a part of your life that is so clear and present that I feel that I know you much better than most of the people I am with every day. Perhaps it is that you are only 4 years my senior and we lived through some of the same social times and experiences. But then, perhaps it is that you so bravely share your life with others.
I have had a problem going to funerals and wakes since I came home from Vietnam. I met and got very close to others so quickly then. Their being gone from my life so suddenly and definitively was shocking at first and one of my coping mechanisms was to deny their deaths. Up until that time, no one I had known had died. Not going to funerals for me is a form of denial. The VA psychiatrists say that not going is just fine, as long as it works for me. But they are still working with me on strategies to use when it doesn’t work.
Perhaps Bob Dylan said it best: “I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.”
Thanks for your personal and heartfelt comment, David. Writing is a rare and beautiful thing - you never know who will read what you’ve written or how what you’ve written will resonate with, or touch, another soul.
Hi Eric, for some reason that I haven't yet figured out, your regret at not attending the memorial of your dear Susan gave me goosebumps. It was very moving how you spoke of her, her life and all that you shared. The pain of grieving a lost love can be so intense. For the longest time after my brother died, when he came into my thoughts it was like stiletto stabbing my heart. Now when I think of a couple of recently departed close friends it's not so sharp, more of a swampy feel but still intense. I so relate to your story of finding your identity. I too was uptight, emotionally suppressed & repressed until I threw myself into studying acting with Sandy Meisner, Bill Esper et al @ the Neighborhood Playhouse in NYC in the mid 60's. HALLELUJAH!!! I'm just remembering also the terrific dance teachers with which we were blessed - Matt Mattox for Jazz, Pearl Lang for Modern and the beautiful, inspirational Jane Dudley for Martha Graham. Thanks Eric for the sharing of your thoughts and feelings in your post. Although we've never met on the physical plane I'm sending you some fond hugs. Thank you again.
Hi, Bambi. U must feel the closeness between Susan and me, and the sadness of Max, the Clown. We have the same “becoming an artist” history tooooo. Thanks, as always, for your support! E (Glad u figured out how to leave a Commemt!😇)
Beautifully written tribute and reflection. At our age (although I was born when you were a perfect-haired teenager), we could spend every day attending funerals. It’s really hard to prioritize them. They often don’t do justice to the life. The value sometimes has to do with who else is there, more than the deceased, which you don’t know unless you’re there. I believe the deceased is on to bigger and better things. Anyway, the key of the past regret is how it helps your present and shapes your future.
The insights of pickleballer and prophet... Ted Dorff!
Hi Eric, I commented on Claire Polders photo essay on Japan and saw you’d liked that, so was curious when I saw your bio. I love dance - as a spectator. I loved to dance in my youth but never professionally. I will read your earlier essays. Good to meet you here!
Ah ha! "One never knows, do one." Ditto on meeting here.
Stunning piece. Trules. Thanks 🧡
Thanks, Babette’s. I hope all is well.
So many memories of Susan! Such a beautiful vulnerable person. I have stories about T.H. as well that perhaps should remain unsaid in a public place as they aren’t so nice.
Yes, indeeeeeeed, Carter.